How to Be an Advocate for Recovery

If your friend or family member has gone into treatment for a drug or alcohol problem, you’re probably quite happy and relieved. It can be heartbreaking to watch a loved one struggle with addiction and all the misery it brings. Being an advocate for recovery means more than just showing support; it requires understanding, patience, and active participation in the healing process.

More than likely, though, you’ll have some mixed emotions, too. You may fear your loved one is becoming holier than thou, and wonder whether your relationship will be the same now. You may also have lingering feelings of resentment over your loved one’s treatment of you during active addiction. The good news is, those feelings can be resolved, and your relationship can be better than you ever hoped when you learn how to be an effective advocate for recovery.

Understanding Your Role as an Advocate for Recovery

Recent research has introduced the concept of “recovery capital”, the collection of resources, relationships, and personal strengths that support someone’s journey to sustained recovery. As a family member or friend, being an advocate for recovery means you represent a crucial part of their social recovery capital, providing emotional support, love, and encouragement that creates a sense of accountability and belonging.

Understanding that addiction impacts the entire family system means recognising that your own healing and recovery are just as important as your loved one’s. A true advocate for recovery understands that you, too, may need support, resources, and time to rebuild trust and develop new communication patterns.

The Foundation: Respect and Understanding for Every Advocate for Recovery

It’s critical that you respect your loved one’s decision to seek treatment and understand that recovery is the most important thing in their life. Recent studies show that families experiencing greater stigma around addiction are less likely to engage in supportive recovery behaviours, which is why maintaining a non-judgmental, supportive stance is essential for any advocate for recovery.

The Golden Rule for Every Advocate for Recovery: Never encourage a person in recovery to drink or use drugs again. There are no exceptions to this rule. It’s never okay to say things like, “Can’t you have just one?” or, “You’ve been sober a while; you must have gotten it out of your system by now.” Those who are not in recovery sometimes think the purpose of treatment is to teach people “how to handle their alcohol,” but your loved one can never safely use drugs or alcohol again.

Creating Safe Environments

Recovering individuals must never be pressured to attend functions where they might be tempted to relapse. This may be as innocent as bringing out a bottle of wine at Sunday dinner. If your loved one expresses discomfort or the desire to drink, spend a quiet moment with them and ask if they need to leave. Refrain from judging; it’s likely not you they need to get away from, but the temptation to relapse.

Alternative Activities for the Advocate for Recovery: Meet for coffee, play tennis, go for a walk, or try yoga together. Research shows that helping your loved one learn how to have fun without drugs or alcohol is one of the most important ways you can advocate for recovery.

Trauma-Informed Support for the Modern Advocate for Recovery

Current research emphasises the strong connection between childhood trauma and substance use disorders, with many people in recovery having histories of trauma and adversity. This understanding has led to trauma-informed approaches to family support that every advocate for recovery should understand:

• Shift the focus from “What’s wrong with you?” to “What happened to you?”
• Recognise that certain treatment procedures might feel triggering
• Emphasise creating physically and psychologically safe environments
• Build trust through transparency and collaboration

When supporting someone in recovery, avoid referring to them as “an addict” as this reduces their entire identity to their addiction and can be counterproductive to recovery progress. A knowledgeable advocate for recovery uses person-first language that preserves dignity.

Modern Support Resources for the Advocate for Recovery

Digital and Remote Support

Tele-intervention and digital support platforms have become increasingly important for advocates for recovery, offering features that protect family confidentiality and reduce stigma-related barriers that can dampen trust in providers. Many treatment centres now offer virtual family therapy sessions and online support groups that make it easier to be an active advocate for recovery.

Support Groups and Organisations

Every advocate for recovery should consider connecting with support groups and organisations that can help support and guide you through the recovery journey in a group setting, amongst others who are experiencing a similar journey. 

Self-Care and Family Recovery for the Advocate for Recovery

The unique challenges that come from helping a loved one with a substance use disorder can be taxing, so every advocate for recovery should prioritise their health as well. This includes:

• Setting boundaries: Be honest about when you need time to focus on yourself
• Avoiding enabling behaviours: Being an advocate for recovery doesn’t mean rescuing or fixing
• Seeking your support: Family therapy and counselling can improve treatment effectiveness by supporting the whole family
• Maintaining realistic expectations: Stay hopeful, but understand that you cannot control the outcome

Understanding the Recovery Process as an Advocate for Recovery

Recovery takes honesty, open-mindedness, and willingness on both your parts. Understand that recovery is ongoing, and as an advocate for recovery, you must be patient and realistic throughout your loved one’s treatment journey. Your loved one is changing, growing, and learning a new way of life. Your trust in each other will develop anew as you begin to reframe your relationship.

Key Points for Every Advocate for Recovery:

• Ask what your loved one needs and let them choose the level of involvement you play in their recovery
• Offer encouragement while giving them space to focus on their healing
• Avoid bringing up their past struggles, as this can be counterproductive to their progress
• Celebrate their progress and be a champion advocate for recovery

Moving Forward Together

Family recovery involves building familial recovery capital to support the entire family system’s healing process. This means recognising that recovery is not just about the person with the addiction—it’s about transforming relationships, communication patterns, and the entire family dynamic.

The journey may be challenging, but with the right support, understanding, and resources, families can emerge stronger and more connected than ever before.